Create Your Own Constraints in Life

We have numerous constraints in our lives coming from various sources—our culture, tradition, geography, religion, region, and more. If those become your strength, everything is good. But if—and only if—they become something that limits your progress, creativity, and your ability to live life to the fullest, do they even matter?

We have many such constraints, and I’m talking about some of them based on my experiences, or my friends’ and others’ experiences—observations, really. Things like: we shouldn’t have eggs or non-veg today, we shouldn’t wear black today, we should wake up early, we should sleep on time, we shouldn’t eat anything today because of some religious reason—and so on. This cycle never ends. These constraints are not just yearly occurrences or rare traditions—they’re often random, recurring, and seeded into daily life. And slowly, they start limiting your freedom to live.

I understand that as a home, a society, a city, and beyond, we’ll have our own constraints that abide by law or basic decency—those are made to ensure we don’t disturb others. It’s not justifiable to say you don’t sleep early but then blast music at night while an elderly woman and a baby in the opposite building are trying to sleep. That’s fair—I’m okay with those constraints.

But the constraints that come from unverified historical rituals or random, non-scientific stories—those don’t let us understand where we’re even headed. We’re just limiting our days, our life, without questioning why.

Constraints are great for children who aren’t yet mature. They’re great for a student in their prime studying phase. But definitely not for a grown, mature, or soon-to-be married individual. Sometimes, it all comes down to: take your space, and give your family their space too.

Try to influence or persuade your child instead of putting rigid constraints on them. I know many parents who control everything about their child—their hairstyle, what they eat, how they spend their money, their sleep schedule, and so on. I bring up parents because you can escape a school, you can escape a friend group—it’s hard for a few months, but possible. But you can’t escape your parents. If they don’t understand you deeply, it leads to toxicity, constant arguments, retaliation, and silent treatments. Whether we agree or not, they will stay in our lives—and we in theirs—and the love that comes from that selfish gene stays until our last breath.

But does that mean we shouldn’t put constraints in our lives at all? Definitely not. There are constraints worth keeping—ones that help reduce stress, that protect you from status signaling, choice overload, comparisons, and more.

Often, parents who impose religious or cultural constraints are also the ones addicted to social status, virtue signaling, and mimicking materialistic desires. I often see parents who don’t even know how to use an oven, buying a high-end one just because their nephew bought one for ₹20,000—so they feel the need to get a ₹25,000 model to show off. It becomes a showcase piece. Same goes for watches, homes, shoes, clothes—just impulsive buying. And because they don’t know how to spend money wisely, they fall for this.

The heartbreaking part is—they’re not even following their own instincts, tastes, or obsessions. They’re just easily influenced by colleagues, relatives, or others who they believe will respect them for owning certain things. It’s so easy to sell luxury products to these parents—products that cost ₹400 to make but are sold at ₹4,000 in the name of a brand. And the same parents will bargain down to the last rupee with a vegetable vendor, whose crops are often sold at a loss or wasted as bio-degradable waste. If you truly want respect, give it to the farmer too.

Okay—we’re moving off topic. This comes from a deeper frustration with some behavioral traits I see in Indian parents.

If you want to put constraints in life, put them where they make sense:

Put constraints on your limited money as a working person.

Put constraints on your time and energy—they’re your most finite resources.

Put constraints on your shopping habits to reduce the choice paradox.

Ask yourself:

Do I need this product?

Can I afford this, given my financial state?

If I’m spending more—how much impact does this product really have on my daily life?

Same goes for your limited hours on this planet. You have around 14 usable hours a day after basic necessities. If those hours are controlled by your parents and not utilized as you want—are you really living? Does your existence even feel like yours?

Now, about your energy:

Am I getting enough rest? Or is it compromised because of some constraint imposed by others?

Am I getting proper nutrition—or am I skipping balanced meals because of restrictions?

Am I fueling my body with what it needs—especially if I’m training or going to the gym?

So yes—put constraints where they belong: on your resources, and on the areas where choices, social signaling, and ego are playing you.

This one’s for people who feel that staying at home is limiting their potential, their choices, their privacy. Some may say, “Then just move out!”—and I agree, but only if you’re truly okay with that choice. Don’t move out in anger or ego. You can still build your future while staying at home—if your parents are willing to grow and become wiser alongside you. After all, they are your parents. And like Naval said, “Your family is broken and you’re trying to fix the world.”

This isn’t for people who are happy with their parents’ constraints—those who are conscious and aware that their choices are still their own, guided by their own taste and own reasoning.

But for the rest of us—these random constraints affect us deeply. They are often the core reason for our lack of progress, creativity, action, and even our procrastination. Most people don’t even realize how much this impacts their consciousness. It limits your agency to take immediate action. It teaches obedience—and honestly, I don’t think that’s such a great trait to glorify.

As David Deutsch said, “Disobedience is where creativity, progress, and innovation begin.”

Living inside a constrained loop limits your life’s possibilities—its serendipity, and all the miraculous, life-changing moments that are waiting for you.